Tag Archives: self-acceptance

Don’t Give Up Just Because You Mess Up

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I’ve been trying to lose weight since I was in the third grade. That’s 20 straight years of me focusing on my weight and how it needed to go.

I have grown so much over the years and feel that every day I am more and more prepared and capable of living a healthy and happy life.

I’ve messed up countless times. I had lost 80 pounds, only to gain 90 back in less than 2 years’ time. I’ve lost the same 10 lbs AT LEAST 20 times (seriously). Through all my failures, it would have been easy to give up. If I can’t figure something out in 20 years, then I’m never going to, right?

WRONG.

I don’t have all the answers (not even close!), but I do know that I deserve to be healthy and happy and that I’m the only one who can give that to myself. I have fallen countless times, but I get back up every single time. I am constantly learning new things about me. I’m learning to push myself. I’m learning that I am in control of what I say, do, eat, drink, etc. Me. Not anyone else. Something within me refuses to just give up forever, refuses to resign to the fact that I will be obese all my life.

Have I wanted to give up? Yes, of course, I have had those defeating thoughts, and sometimes I’ve gone a few days, weeks, months feeling weak and like a failure. But even then, in the back of my mind, I knew I had to find a way to accomplish my goals.

 

It’s not about how fast you get to the finish line. It’s about learning how incredible and strong and capable and beautiful you are on the journey, right now.

 

Don’t give up because you keep messing up.

If something doesn’t work, try it again, and if it doesn’t work again, try tackling the problem from a different angle. You owe it to yourself to keep going. Don’t deny yourself the freedom and joy that come with realizing how strong you really are. You can do this.

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Change is Good!

I’m getting stronger. Not just physically but mentally. I don’t know exactly what it is, but I can feel myself changing a little.

Examples?
*I haven’t been finishing my meals if I’m satisfied before the food is gone. I’m pretty sure I’ve never done this before!
*I’m consistently exercising and pushing myself. And I’m willing to even push myself more. I’m trying to not settle for good enough.
*I haven’t been sneaking food or eating all the time.
*When I’m feeling discouraged, I remind myself why I’m doing this and why I need to keep going.

Losing weight is hard work, but I’m finding that as my head gets back in the game and stays there, it’s much more manageable. I know that I can do this. Just have to keep focusing!


See Your Healthy Self (A Guest Post!)

This week, I’ve asked a good friend of mine to be a guest writer.  I met her through WordPress, as she has a wonderful blog where she writes about her journey on becoming a healthier woman, both inside and out.  I encourage you to visit her blog if you are looking for another great one to follow and learn from.

See Your Healthy Self

I was having lunch with a friend , and I mentioned that I have a whole person to lose–in weight. My current weight is 316 lbs. I could easily lose a 150 pounds and still be considered overweight by BMI measurements. My friend asked, “Can I tell you something and you not be offended?” Well, I don’t offend easily, but I braced myself and accepted her encouragement.

My friend is a life coach at heart, so I asked her to join me as a partner in my online support group. As a Behavior Specialist, I know how important vulnerability is to the development of a group, so I am frequently vulnerable and transparent in our group. She observed my focus on the amount of weight that I have to lose, and my acceptance of being fat, obese, — no…morbidly obese. I tried to explain to her why it is that I feel I need to accept who I am.

I have considered having some shirts made that say something like, “Don’t be fooled. I’m wearing a fat suit.” (if you take my idea, you better send me a shirt!) I am trying to imagine this outer covering of insulation as something that will eventually be taken off. Unfortunately, it isn’t something that I can just unzip and slip out of like a little black dress, so my healthy state isn’t as obvious to others as it is to me. Since others do not recognize my healthy state, I have had a difficult time accepting it myself.

While she understood where I was coming from, her message was that she doesn’t see me as fat. She sees all of the healthy decisions that I have permanently applied to my life, and she describes me as “healthy and disciplined,” two words I would never have used to describe myself given the appearance of my body. She believes psychologically, I have gotten in the way of my weight loss and health goals, by continually seeing myself as fat after making sustaining healthy changes.

So as I do with any problem, I searched for a solution. My response to her was, “Ok, so I am an excellent student. What I set out to do, I accomplish. I will accept your vision as my vision. I will be positive in my outlook and look for positive changes to come from it.” I am now attempting to make a permanent behavior change by seeing myself as she sees me. When I begin to evaluate myself, I will put on her glasses to see myself, and in doing so, it is my hope that permanent change will come.

I encourage you to do the same thing. Learn from my issues. Don’t require yourself to live through mistakes that someone else has conquered. Make a proclamation that will strengthen your health/fitness goals. Envision yourself stepping out of the layer of insulation that is covering you. Could it really be that simple–just unzip it and take it off? Not without work on nutrition/fitness of course, but with it, perhaps. Join me?

A special thank you to my friend Crystal Boyette for seeing me and helping me to see myself for who I truly am, and not what a fat prejudiced society teaches me to think. Also, thank you Laura Campbell for time on your blog. You inspire me!!

About the Author:  Margie Fuller has a master’s degree in Organizational Psychology and is a Behavior Specialist. She is the owner of the blog 241Journey on WordPress. She runs a private, FB support group for women who have 50 or more lbs to lose and struggle with self-concept issues.


I am my own Valentine…

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I’ve never been a fan of Valentine’s Day.  I always thought it was mostly because I was alone, and that I used my disdain for the holiday to mask how much I wished I had a love in my life.  But then I did have a love in my life for a few Valentine’s Days, and honestly, I still didn’t think much it.  Sure, it was nice to have someone, but it was even nicer to be in love.  So maybe my apathy for the day is legit.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about love and about how lousy I can be at loving others sometimes.  I’ve decided to change that, and I know just where to begin.  With me.

To me, it seems that loving other people is a lot easier to do when you love yourself.  Loving yourself is hard because, after all, no one really knows you (your secrets, your thoughts, your actions when no one is around) as well as you know yourself, and if you can love yourself despite all the flaws, then loving others and their flaws doesn’t seem so bad.

There are quite a few things in my life I would like to change, but all of it circles back to me loving myself.  I can’t lose weight if I don’t love and respect myself enough to believe I deserve it.  I can’t love other people the way they deserve to be loved if I’m so wrapped up in my own problems and my own hate for myself.  It’s just not going to happen.

I’m ready to love others fully and deeply.  I’m ready to love myself.

Here are some ways I’m going to love myself (I’m sure these can apply to your own life in some way too!):

1. Working out – I’ve noticed when I work out, I have: more energy, a more positive outlook on life, more self-respect.

2. Eating healthy – When I eat crap, it makes me feel like a failure and a loser, but eating healthy makes me feel strong and alive.

3. Giving myself a break – Yes, I’m going to mess up, and when I do, I need to not beat myself up about it because that only makes me do worse.  I need to acknowledge what I did wrong, make amends if necessary, and move on.

4. Allowing for quality me-time – Whether that’s giving myself a pedicure or homemade facial, taking the time to journal or watch a favorite movie, learning something new like a language or knitting, or just taking a nap … I need to take care of myself, and I need that down time!

5. Talking to my loved ones – I have a bad habit of not keeping in touch with people, and I hate that.  I want to stay connected to the people I love.

So that’s my plan.  I hope you all are having a lovely day!