Anyone who knows me knows how it’s hard for me stay motivated in any area of my life. I have some theories as to why I can be so unmotivated sometimes, but in the end, all the theories are simply thought-out excuses.
I really don’t know why I’m so lazy. I just know that I am lazy, and right now, that’s all I think I need to know. Well, that and how to stop being so lazy.
These last few weeks I’ve switched gears in how I lose weight. Looking back, the only time I ever lost weight (around 70 pounds so far) was when Ben was helping me. I apparently can’t really do it on my own. I need that outside motivation to help me because while I do want to be healthy and lose weight, I just can’t seem to do it on my own just yet.
I’ve lost weight this week, which is so exciting, and it’s because he is helping me. He set up a plan for me — what to eat, when to eat, how to exercise, etc — and it’s working! And the only time it doesn’t work is when I get in the way.
So far, he has exercised with me, which is really helpful because he keeps me going and tells me when I’m doing good and when I need to push harder.
Today I was on my own. And I sucked. I did considerably worse, and I could not figure out how to motivate myself to go harder. This is a problem. I absolutely have to figure out how to motivate myself. For the time being, I’m going to have to rely on his motivation to keep me going, but I’m just hoping that I can figure it out soon.
I’m so thankful that he’s helping me and that he cares. We all need people like that in our lives, don’t we? Someone who is there to help you out when you just can’t seem to do it yourself. Someone who believes in you and works through things with you. Someone who supports but isn’t afraid to call you out on your faults and offer ways to improve. I’m grateful.
One way or another, I’m going to find motivation from within. It’s hiding somewhere. Ready or not, here I come.