Tag Archives: challenge

reFocus. Every. Single. Day.

Why do I complicate things for myself? I don’t understand me. Like at all.

I just want to be able to commit to something and give it my everything. But I always fall short. I literally can’t commit to anything for more than a day it seems. Keeping my room clean, staying in touch with people I love, blogging, prepping meals, running, losing weight ….

Ugh. Losing weight. That’s the worst one.

Even when I do actually do well for a few weeks, I get complacent and almost completely undo everything I worked so hard for.


This struggle is real. I’m convinced I will never struggle with anything else as much as I will struggle with my own self.

I was thinking today how I need to refocus again. I’ve been thinking this a few days now, actually. Yesterday I decided today would be the day that I just start all over. Today would be the day to refocus again.

And then I realized one of the problems. I need to refocus every single day. I need to recommit every day. I need to remind myself why I am doing this.

Every. Single. Day.

Hyping it up on Day One isn’t going to be good enough for Day Twenty-One. Shoot, it’s not even going to be good enough for Day Two.

I compared myself to my car today. I always let the gas get down to around 10 miles until empty. I don’t know why. But I do. One time I did this on a road trip and we just barely made it to a gas station. Remember that, Ben? Hahahaha…. okay maybe it’s not funny. Definitely not then…… Maybe a little funny now?

But anyway. I do the same with my tablet. And my phone. I let it almost die before I recharge it.

And while that may semi-work for a car, tablet, or phone, that does not and will never work for me.

I am not a machine.

if I wait until I am empty, until I’ve completely lost focus and passion and stamina, then I’m just going to be dying refueling/recharging over and over again. I’m never going to progress. I’m going to lose the same 5, 10, 20…90 pounds over and over! And yes, I’m working on losing the same 90 pounds again.

So because I’m so tired of annoying myself and trying to make Day One’s energy last me for days at a time until I peter out and undo it all, I’m going to try to refocus every day.

I want to remind myself why I am doing this.

So why am I doing this?

1. I want to be healthy. Not just “good-enough” healthy, but really healthy. I don’t want my own neglect to be the reason I find myself with some disease or complication now or later in life. I already have enough going against me. Why add to the problem?

2. I want to stop hiding behind insecurities, fears, and assumptions. I once made a list of almost 100 things I didn’t do because of my weight. I don’t want my body to limit anything I think I can or cannot do.

3. I want to keep my promise of losing weight and being healthy. I owe it to myself, and I’ve punished myself entirely too long.

But overall… I want to lose weight because I want to be happy.

And I’m not going to be truly happy until I am healthy, until I stop hiding, and until I fulfill my promise. I’m not going to be fully happy until I can look deep inside my soul and know that I really did give everything that I had.

So my game plan?

1. reFOCUS every day. Remind myself why I’m doing this. Remember what’s at stake if I don’t.

2. Eat and drink properly.

3. Move efficiently and often.

That’s all. That’s as detailed of a plan as I have. I’m not going to waste my time drawing out some elaborate workout plan and to-do list. I’m just going to do it.

I know that I’m worth it. I even know that I can do it. I just have to refocus. Every. Single. Day.

I would love to know what you do to stay focused. ūüôā

No More Fooling Around…


I’m renaming this month. ¬†As of now, it is No-Fooling-Around-April.

After having quite an unsuccessful winter and beginning to spring, it is past time I refocus and take care of myself.

For April, I have four goals:

1. Eat healthy, wholesome foods & drink enough water.

2. Get in at least 30 minutes of activity at least 6 times a week.

3. Blog daily to track my progress.

4. Do something every day that makes me happy.

Honestly, this should be easy enough to do. ¬†I’m not giving up. ¬†Eventually, I will be at a healthy weight. ¬†I just need to learn to enjoy the process. ¬†If I actually enjoy what I’m doing, it’s going to be a lot easier to stay on point.

Evaluating my goals for the day…

My weight is slowly going down from my food choices over the weekend. ¬†It’s getting really annoying to eat so well and then mess it up just from one day, because then I just feel like I’m playing catch up all week long. ¬†I’m going to figure out something different so it doesn’t keep happening, but i”m sure just severely limiting the wheat will make a huge difference!


My goals for September are:

*Workout at least 6 days/week

*Drink at least 110 oz of water/day

*Blog 3x/week

*Avoid wheat & dairy


As far as my goals, I did exercise this morning before work, so that’s good.

My granola bar for breakfast had wheat in it, and I wasn’t thinking about it when I ate it. ¬†So there went my goal of not having wheat today. ¬†But I succeeded with the dairy part. ¬†(That’s the easier of the two to avoid!)

So far for my water intake, I’ve had 50 oz, so I really need to drink at least that much again to meet the goal for the day.

This is my second time blogging this week, so that’s good.

So I could have done a little better, but not too bad. ¬†I’ll get in a good rhythm soon!

Summer is Almost Over… :(

I start my new job in a few weeks. I have to admit, it’s been ridiculously amazing not having to work this summer, but my bank account will thank me for working again!

This summer I’ve been able to focus more on losing weight, but with work starting back up, I need to make a plan of action so I don’t fail. It will be harder to work out, and it will be more tempting to eat unhealthier foods because I won’t be at home in my healthy food bubble all day long.

But I can do it. I just have to plan for it!

I still don’t know my exact schedule because I’m looking to add a few more hours with other families (I’m a nanny.), so I’m not quite sure when I will have time to exercise. But I will definitely be finding the time. I’m liking my success and know that there’s no reason to make excuses not to work out. I want to keep losing weight. And I’m determined to do it!

So my plan? I don’t know completely, but here’s what I have so far:
-I bought a lunch bag and ice packs so I can take my breakfast, lunch, snacks with me.
-I’m going to pre-make my lunches for the week so I can easily have access to healthy foods at any given time. I’m still working on ideas for that, but I know they will include veggies with bean/chicken with either quinoa, rice, or pasta, salads or raw veggies with grilled chicken or salmon and homemade salsas, veggies with hummus, fresh fruit, homemade oatmeal muffins, boiled eggs, and on and on…
-I also have a water bottle that I carry with me everywhere, so I can still easily get my water.
-I just need to figure out when I’m working out. I could always wake up at 5:30am and workout before work, but I honestly don’t see that happening! Depending on what other work I get, I may have several hours in the middle of the day to work out, but if not, I guess it will be in the evenings and on the weekends.

How do all you busy, working people find time to work out? I would also love to hear about anything that works for you regarding packing healthy lunches and also time management.

bad eating days = bigger numbers on the scale

I didn’t watch what I ate yesterday, which I think is fine to do every once in awhile. ¬†And as long as you don’t freak out by what the scale says the next morning, then all will be well.

I am the queen of holding onto water. ¬†I’m 3 pounds heavier today than I was yesterday, which would usually (and sometimes still does) get me down. ¬†But I know the extra weight is just water and poop. ¬†I didn’t eat enough yesterday to gain a pound of fat, so I’m not worried.


Here’s what I ate yesterday in case you are wondering:

Breakfast – 1 serving corn flakes with 1/2 cup vanilla almond milk

Lunch – 1/2 serving of salted french fries, 1/2 plain hot dog, 8 oz apple cider slushie, 1/2 soft pretzel, 1/2 of a delicious S’more cookie, 1/2 of an even more delicious chocolate chip cookie, 1/2 snickerdoodle cookie, 1/2 oreo chunk cookie (Ben and I went to a Peach Festival and had fun sharing food!)

Snack – 1/2 oatmeal raisin cookie, 1/2 snickerdoodle cookie (I went a little overboard with the cookies today, i know!) All in all, I only actually had 3 cookies.

Dinner Р1/2 chicken patty with lettuce & tomato on a kaiser roll, 1 serving barbecue chips, genoa salami/ham on a kaiser roll with pickles, banana peppers, jalapenos, lettuce, tomato, & a little mayo, 6oz sparkling apple cinnamon cider


I didn’t drink enough water, and I had way too much sodium (chips, pretzel, salami/ham, sandwich toppings, etc). ¬†Add on the fact that I shouldn’t even eat wheat because I have a sensitivity to it and it bloats me and binds me up (and I had a lot of it!), and it’s no surprise that I’m 3 pounds heavier.

But it’s okay. ¬†Having a day where I can eat what I’m craving keeps me in line for the rest of the days where I’m eating only healthy foods. ¬†This works for me. ¬†I know it doesn’t work for everyone, though. ¬†If I ate like this all the time I would feel guilty but because I incorporate it into my week and plan for it, I don’t feel guilty at all. ¬†In fact, it makes me feel better prepared to keep going with the weight loss.

What works for you? ¬†Have you found “cheat” meals helpful or sabotaging?

Choosing Pain…


I don’t like pain of any kind. ¬†Not that anyone really does, but I have a very low tolerance for pain for the most part. ¬†I think I’m finally seeing that hurting from exercising is much more preferable than hurting for the rest of my life from being obese. ¬†

I don’t belong in this fat. ¬†It’s not who I am. ¬†But the good news is that I’m not stuck there anymore. ¬†It hurts, but it’s oh so worth it.

Down another 1/2 pound from yesterday.  Yes!

I would also like to point out that I have posted a blog 8 days in a row! ¬†Feels good to actually be sticking to my goals. ¬†I’m not quite sure that I’m going to be under 200 pounds by September 1st, but I don’t even care honestly. ¬†I will get there, and focusing so intently this month is going to help me in all sorts of ways!


Stepped on the scale today: 225.5 lbs

So 2.5 down from yesterday, and the lowest I’ve been in a long time. ¬†Personally I’m excited to get under 224 because that was the lowest I ever got in college. ¬†When I hit 223, I will be at the weight I was in like 10th grade. ¬†So that will be good to get past that!

I slept in today… like 3 hours longer than I usually do. ¬†I like sleeping in but it usually always messes up my day. ¬†So we will see.¬†

I didn’t realize until just now how close I am to losing 100 pounds. ¬†That will be something. ūüôā Just have to lose 13.5 pounds. ¬†Yay!