This week, I’ve asked a good friend of mine to be a guest writer. I met her through WordPress, as she has a wonderful blog where she writes about her journey on becoming a healthier woman, both inside and out. I encourage you to visit her blog if you are looking for another great one to follow and learn from.
See Your Healthy Self
I was having lunch with a friend , and I mentioned that I have a whole person to lose–in weight. My current weight is 316 lbs. I could easily lose a 150 pounds and still be considered overweight by BMI measurements. My friend asked, “Can I tell you something and you not be offended?” Well, I don’t offend easily, but I braced myself and accepted her encouragement.
My friend is a life coach at heart, so I asked her to join me as a partner in my online support group. As a Behavior Specialist, I know how important vulnerability is to the development of a group, so I am frequently vulnerable and transparent in our group. She observed my focus on the amount of weight that I have to lose, and my acceptance of being fat, obese, — no…morbidly obese. I tried to explain to her why it is that I feel I need to accept who I am.
I have considered having some shirts made that say something like, “Don’t be fooled. I’m wearing a fat suit.” (if you take my idea, you better send me a shirt!) I am trying to imagine this outer covering of insulation as something that will eventually be taken off. Unfortunately, it isn’t something that I can just unzip and slip out of like a little black dress, so my healthy state isn’t as obvious to others as it is to me. Since others do not recognize my healthy state, I have had a difficult time accepting it myself.
While she understood where I was coming from, her message was that she doesn’t see me as fat. She sees all of the healthy decisions that I have permanently applied to my life, and she describes me as “healthy and disciplined,” two words I would never have used to describe myself given the appearance of my body. She believes psychologically, I have gotten in the way of my weight loss and health goals, by continually seeing myself as fat after making sustaining healthy changes.
So as I do with any problem, I searched for a solution. My response to her was, “Ok, so I am an excellent student. What I set out to do, I accomplish. I will accept your vision as my vision. I will be positive in my outlook and look for positive changes to come from it.” I am now attempting to make a permanent behavior change by seeing myself as she sees me. When I begin to evaluate myself, I will put on her glasses to see myself, and in doing so, it is my hope that permanent change will come.
I encourage you to do the same thing. Learn from my issues. Don’t require yourself to live through mistakes that someone else has conquered. Make a proclamation that will strengthen your health/fitness goals. Envision yourself stepping out of the layer of insulation that is covering you. Could it really be that simple–just unzip it and take it off? Not without work on nutrition/fitness of course, but with it, perhaps. Join me?
A special thank you to my friend Crystal Boyette for seeing me and helping me to see myself for who I truly am, and not what a fat prejudiced society teaches me to think. Also, thank you Laura Campbell for time on your blog. You inspire me!!
About the Author: Margie Fuller has a master’s degree in Organizational Psychology and is a Behavior Specialist. She is the owner of the blog 241Journey on WordPress. She runs a private, FB support group for women who have 50 or more lbs to lose and struggle with self-concept issues.