A Look Inside My Heart

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September has gone by way too quickly, but that’s okay. I don’t care much for September anyway.

But I am looking forward to October. I think I’m happiest and most hopeful in October. I don’t even know if that makes sense, but it just seems like all is right in my world in the month of October.

I adore the Fall. I love everything about it: the colorful, falling leaves; pumpkin patches and apple orchards; the cool mornings; sweaters and jeans and boots; bon fires and hot apple cider and hot tea. Everything is just perfect in October.

Anyway. My September goals haven’t gone so great. It takes me awhile to get into a new routine, and I think I’m almost there.  I’ve lost some weight, which is always good.  I’m going in the right direction.  Like always, I’m just taking my sweet time getting there.  Maybe that’s just me.  Sometimes I think it’s good to take your time.  Slow and steady wins the race, right?  But I’m thinking I could still be slow and steady, but just do it a little bit faster!

I’m feeling more and more prepared and ready to make this a permanent life style.  I want to be the type of person who looks forward to waking up early to go for a run.  I want to feel proud of myself for working hard and accomplishing things I never thought I could.  I want to be able to wear whatever I want and feel confident and beautiful in anything or nothing.

I want to live my life knowing that I’ve done everything I could to make it a life worth living.  It goes so beyond just weight loss.  I don’t just want to lose the fat.  I want to lose the insecurities.  I want to lose everything that’s holding me back.  I want to lose the fear and anxiety.  I want to lose my lack of motivation.  I want to live a life with no regrets.  That’s what I want.  It’s what I need.

I want to be happy, and I know that starts with me.  No one can make me happy, at least not the happy I’m talking about.  Happy isn’t even the word, really.  I want to be at peace.  I want to be content with who I am as a woman.  I want to fully know that I am where I need to be, doing what I need to be doing.

I want to love those around me with the purest of loves.  I don’t ever want someone I love to question whether or not they have my love.  I want them to know within their souls that they are loved by me.

Anyway.  That’s what I’m thinking about this morning.  What are you thinking about?  🙂

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12 responses to “A Look Inside My Heart

  • littlemoreeachday

    Lovely! Embracing all of those things about a healthy lifestyle that go beyond the scale are so much more rewarding in the long term. Wishing you a lovely October!

  • bgddyjim

    Slow and steady never wins the race. Ever. Well, except maybe in fairytales. If I want to go faster it’s because I know I can do better. When I’m going fast enough I know it – I can say, “yes, I can go faster, but I am fast enough.

    I would rewrite that poster… “It’s okay to be where you are if you need to improve and you’re working towards it.”

    I’m never happy phoning it in, nor should I be. Good luck and don’t quit. Keep at it and be happy when you know you’re giving it your best. You can do it.

  • bejamin4

    Don’t worry so much, Laura. You’re great no matter what. Some people we fall out of love with or stop loving, but you’re always worth loving. You’re somebody that I’d always trust, and in the end trust is always the most important factor in relationships. If you can’t trust somebody you have nothing!

  • 241lady

    I love fall, too. I have a lot of great memories of fall. Of bonfires and snuggling in the cool wind. I am looking forward to this fall. It will be the first time ever in my life that I’ve been active. I plan to make the most of these south GA coolers days, since we don’t get very many of those. Biking, walking, and getting my start at running–this will be the perfect time for me to do that without killing myself in the heat.

    I want the same things you do. Your goals are very reasonable. You deserve every one of them and then some! Here’s to shedding pounds and things that bind us!

    Thanks for sharing your heart with us.

  • bittersweetwild

    I dont like September either — and lost my way a bit this month too. Hold on! Sounds like a beautiful part of the year lies ahead for you!

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