I was so tired yesterday that I ended up posting the same post twice!
This week could have been much, much better. But I’ll just blame it on getting used to my new schedule. I know that’s partly it, but I still should have done better. Thankfully I have this weekend to help make up for my semi-crappy week, and then next week I will make sure it’s much more productive and effective.
I’m committed to losing this weight, and I want to live a healthy, happy life. It’s really, truly what I want. It’s something I’ve wanted for so long, but the crazy thing is this: All along the power was in my hands. I could have saved myself a lot of grief if I just would have taken control of my life. Some people have problems that they can’t control and would give anything to be able to change their circumstances, but I can control my problem. I don’t know why I’ve struggled with it all my life. It’s in my power to change it. I’m the only one who can change it. So why is it so hard?
Why is it so hard to be good to myself and to make sure I have what I need to be happy and healthy? If that’s what I truly want and what I’ve always wanted, why in the world has it always been so hard to commit to it and get it done? I always wonder that. It makes me think that maybe I never really wanted it bad enough. I don’t think that’s it, though.
I think it has more to do with the fact that I always just got so discouraged and felt so hopeless. I didn’t believe that I could do it, and I would give up so easily. I don’t know that that means I didn’t want it bad enough. Any thoughts on that?
I’m not discouraged right now. I had a crappy week. Okay. The week is over, and I’m ready to make the next one better. It’s just something i’ve been thinking about lately.