If I wanted it so badly, why didn’t it get done?

I was so tired yesterday that I ended up posting the same post twice!

This week could have been much, much better.  But I’ll just blame it on getting used to my new schedule.  I know that’s partly it, but I still should have done better.  Thankfully I have this weekend to help make up for my semi-crappy week, and then next week I will make sure it’s much more productive and effective.

I’m committed to losing this weight, and I want to live a healthy, happy life.  It’s really, truly what I want.  It’s something I’ve wanted for so long, but the crazy thing is this:  All along the power was in my hands.  I could have saved myself a lot of grief if I just would have taken control of my life.  Some people have problems that they can’t control and would give anything to be able to change their circumstances, but I can control my problem.  I don’t know why I’ve struggled with it all my life.  It’s in my power to change it.  I’m the only one who can change it.  So why is it so hard?

Why is it so hard to be good to myself and to make sure I have what I need to be happy and healthy?  If that’s what I truly want and what I’ve always wanted, why in the world has it always been so hard to commit to it and get it done?  I always wonder that.  It makes me think that maybe I never really wanted it bad enough.  I don’t think that’s it, though.

I think it has more to do with the fact that I always just got so discouraged and felt so hopeless.  I didn’t believe that I could do it, and I would give up so easily.  I don’t know that that means I didn’t want it bad enough.  Any thoughts on that?

I’m not discouraged right now.  I had a crappy week.  Okay.  The week is over, and I’m ready to make the next one better. It’s just something i’ve been thinking about lately.

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14 responses to “If I wanted it so badly, why didn’t it get done?

  • lovingmyselftofit

    I think you hit the nail on the head when you said you didn’t believe you could do it. You can. And I think you know you can. In fact, the fact that you are having awareness about it at all, shows that you are already in the process. Also, I don’t know what you believe in as far as a concept of a higher power or god, but if you have something like that you believe in, bring that in to the equation. 🙂 Remember, we do this one day at a time–one meal at a time. You can start your day over at any time! Don’t give up on yourself!!! xo

    • Laura-is-Inspired

      Thanks! Yeah, I believe in God for sure, but I’m going to be honest, never in my life has my belief in God helped me lose weight. When I was younger, I used to believe that my faith would help me lose weight, and it never did, which made me question my faith after a long time of it never helping me. I believe that God can help me, but I’ve realized that he can only do so much. At the end of the day, only I can lose weight. Thanks for the comment and encouragement!

  • littlemoreeachday

    Don’t feel bad about double posting. I accidentally liked one of my own posts yesterday – it just must be that kind of week in blog-land. 🙂

    I think you’re right, you have to believe you can do it and every day, you have consciously decide for yourself that you believe you can do it. As long as you keep doing that, you’ll get there, no matter how long it takes.

  • bejamin4

    Never been a better time than right now. At some point, you can’t just keep saying next week. You either have to do it or don’t do it. I’m sure you don’t want to be saying this again next year. Sometimes we forget that focus if like working muscle.

    • Laura-is-Inspired

      You’re right, Ben. I’ve never really thought of focus being a muscle. The more I focus, the more I commit, the easier it will be and the better the result will be. Thanks for your encouragement. I know I’m frustrating sometimes, or all the time, but thank you for not giving up… ❤

  • bgddyjim

    First of all, this is a perfect time to simply “do the next right thing at any given moment.” Weather here today was cold and crappy with spotty sprinkles. It was BAD – but my wife and I went for a ride anyway, we sucked it up and did it. Sometimes that’s what ya gotta do.

    Next, it’s not that you don’t want it bad enough. It IS that you lose the argument in your head – you trip over that thought that says, “you want that donut… Yeah, now you want another…” Or, “you’re tired and not feeling well, curling up on the couch will make you feel better.” You buy that, do it, and THEN realize that thought led to you feeling worse. It’s a spiral down from there. This is why it hit you so hard when you realize how low you sank and you can’t figure out what happened.

    What you need is to learn how to beat back that thought process at the beginning, so you CAN do the next right thing.

    At least that’s how it worked for me.

    Good luck and don’t quit.

  • happylifehealthylife

    It’s all in your mind, girl! The mind is a VERY powerful thing and can make things that deep down we KNOW are physically possible seem impossible.

    It’s hard because even though we want one thing SO bad, we also want those other little things that aren’t in line with our goals. Just like we hold the power to change the things we don’t like, we also hold the ability to go after the things we want but know may not be so good for ourselves.

    I’ve found that it all comes down to willpower. Acknowledging that YES you want that cookie but NO you are not going to have it right now…doesn’t mean that you can never have one again; it just means that right now you’re choosing not to. Likewise, it’s reminding yourself that exercise is a CHOICE and that you are fortunate enough to have that choice. You will likely never regret a workout, but you will likely regret not working out.

    It’s great that you’re recognizing and acknowledging these thoughts and feelings. It’ll fall into place for you!

  • orthodoxmom3

    Belief in yourself is key. Our beliefs, conscious and unconscious, play a large role in our abilities to reach goals and success!

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