Monthly Archives: September 2014

A Look Inside My Heart

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September has gone by way too quickly, but that’s okay. I don’t care much for September anyway.

But I am looking forward to October. I think I’m happiest and most hopeful in October. I don’t even know if that makes sense, but it just seems like all is right in my world in the month of October.

I adore the Fall. I love everything about it: the colorful, falling leaves; pumpkin patches and apple orchards; the cool mornings; sweaters and jeans and boots; bon fires and hot apple cider and hot tea. Everything is just perfect in October.

Anyway. My September goals haven’t gone so great. It takes me awhile to get into a new routine, and I think I’m almost there.  I’ve lost some weight, which is always good.  I’m going in the right direction.  Like always, I’m just taking my sweet time getting there.  Maybe that’s just me.  Sometimes I think it’s good to take your time.  Slow and steady wins the race, right?  But I’m thinking I could still be slow and steady, but just do it a little bit faster!

I’m feeling more and more prepared and ready to make this a permanent life style.  I want to be the type of person who looks forward to waking up early to go for a run.  I want to feel proud of myself for working hard and accomplishing things I never thought I could.  I want to be able to wear whatever I want and feel confident and beautiful in anything or nothing.

I want to live my life knowing that I’ve done everything I could to make it a life worth living.  It goes so beyond just weight loss.  I don’t just want to lose the fat.  I want to lose the insecurities.  I want to lose everything that’s holding me back.  I want to lose the fear and anxiety.  I want to lose my lack of motivation.  I want to live a life with no regrets.  That’s what I want.  It’s what I need.

I want to be happy, and I know that starts with me.  No one can make me happy, at least not the happy I’m talking about.  Happy isn’t even the word, really.  I want to be at peace.  I want to be content with who I am as a woman.  I want to fully know that I am where I need to be, doing what I need to be doing.

I want to love those around me with the purest of loves.  I don’t ever want someone I love to question whether or not they have my love.  I want them to know within their souls that they are loved by me.

Anyway.  That’s what I’m thinking about this morning.  What are you thinking about?  🙂

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If I wanted it so badly, why didn’t it get done?

I was so tired yesterday that I ended up posting the same post twice!

This week could have been much, much better.  But I’ll just blame it on getting used to my new schedule.  I know that’s partly it, but I still should have done better.  Thankfully I have this weekend to help make up for my semi-crappy week, and then next week I will make sure it’s much more productive and effective.

I’m committed to losing this weight, and I want to live a healthy, happy life.  It’s really, truly what I want.  It’s something I’ve wanted for so long, but the crazy thing is this:  All along the power was in my hands.  I could have saved myself a lot of grief if I just would have taken control of my life.  Some people have problems that they can’t control and would give anything to be able to change their circumstances, but I can control my problem.  I don’t know why I’ve struggled with it all my life.  It’s in my power to change it.  I’m the only one who can change it.  So why is it so hard?

Why is it so hard to be good to myself and to make sure I have what I need to be happy and healthy?  If that’s what I truly want and what I’ve always wanted, why in the world has it always been so hard to commit to it and get it done?  I always wonder that.  It makes me think that maybe I never really wanted it bad enough.  I don’t think that’s it, though.

I think it has more to do with the fact that I always just got so discouraged and felt so hopeless.  I didn’t believe that I could do it, and I would give up so easily.  I don’t know that that means I didn’t want it bad enough.  Any thoughts on that?

I’m not discouraged right now.  I had a crappy week.  Okay.  The week is over, and I’m ready to make the next one better. It’s just something i’ve been thinking about lately.


I’m Tired

It’s Thursday, and this is my first post for the week. This new schedule is tiring, but I’m sure after a few weeks I will figure it out… just in time for Daylight Saving to mess me up again! Ah well…

I haven’t lost weight this week, but I’ve been finding this always happens. I lose a pound and then I gain two, and then I lose more, and then I gain some. So I imagine I will be losing weight soon!


I’m Tired

It’s Thursday, and this is my first post for the week.  This new schedule is tiring, but I’m sure after a few weeks I will figure it out… just in time for Daylight Saving to mess me up again!  Ah well…

I haven’t lost weight this week, but I’ve been finding this always happens.  I lose a pound and then I gain two, and then I lose more, and then I gain some.  So I imagine I will be losing weight soon!


Week Summary

This week was busy, but turned out pretty good, I suppose.  I ended up gaining 5 (lbs) from last week’s fried foods and other crap, but luckily I lost it all.  I know most of it was sodium, but I don’t think all of it was.  Either way, I’m glad I’m back to where I was.

I did better with drinking my water.  This week I hope to continue drinking enough water.

And this is my third post for the week, so I made that goal for the week!

I’ve stayed away from wheat and dairy, and I think that has helped a lot!

I’ve only been doing an hour of cardio a day, but I’ve been trying to make it more intense to make up for it.  I think it’s going to work out pretty well.

I even woke up a few days at 5:20 to make sure I got my workout in.  I’d say that’s improvement!

Hoping to lose a few pounds this week!

How was everyone’s week?

🙂


Evaluating my goals for the day…

My weight is slowly going down from my food choices over the weekend.  It’s getting really annoying to eat so well and then mess it up just from one day, because then I just feel like I’m playing catch up all week long.  I’m going to figure out something different so it doesn’t keep happening, but i”m sure just severely limiting the wheat will make a huge difference!

 

My goals for September are:

*Workout at least 6 days/week

*Drink at least 110 oz of water/day

*Blog 3x/week

*Avoid wheat & dairy

 

As far as my goals, I did exercise this morning before work, so that’s good.

My granola bar for breakfast had wheat in it, and I wasn’t thinking about it when I ate it.  So there went my goal of not having wheat today.  But I succeeded with the dairy part.  (That’s the easier of the two to avoid!)

So far for my water intake, I’ve had 50 oz, so I really need to drink at least that much again to meet the goal for the day.

This is my second time blogging this week, so that’s good.

So I could have done a little better, but not too bad.  I’ll get in a good rhythm soon!


I got used to blogging…

Well it’s September 1st, and I wasn’t going to blog today, but it just feels weird now not to blog, especially when I’m just wasting time online anyway!

My job starts tomorrow, and I just wanted one last day of doing nothing.  So that’s what I did.

Tomorrow I have work, and I have to take my car to get inspected to see how much it’s going to cost to get it fixed.  A guy opened his car door when I was driving down the road, and now my side mirror is completely ripped off, the door is dented, scratched, and the paint rubbed off, and the window is even messed up.  So hopefully it all goes well!

I’m getting really excited for September.  I’m trying to stay positive, as there are so many bad, depressing things all around us.  It’s hard not to get caught up in the stress, anxiety, and sadness.  So I’m trying to stay hopeful and think about all the things I’m looking forward to.  Such as…

1. Starting a new stable job.  I will get to take care of some fun 6 year olds who seem really well behaved, adorable, and sweet!  Also this job will allow me enough time to either work other part time jobs or focus on finding editing/proofreading work.

2. Ben and I are going to visit my family at the end of the month.  They all live in Indiana, and I don’t get to see them too often, so visits are always great!

3. Ben and I are going to a music and art festival later this month.  We will probably pick some apples while we’re there, too.  I love doing things like this.

4. I’m looking forward to getting into a new routine and being successful in my weight loss goals!

5. It’s almost Fall, and I absolutely adore the Fall.  The colors, smells, temperature, festivals, holidays, my birthday! (I’ll be 28 in October.  Hoping 28 is better than 27!)

So I’m choosing to focus on the positive.

🙂