Yesterday was a bit of a rough day for me. But today is a new day, and I’m choosing to make it better.
So far so good.
I slept in a little, already did an intense hour on the elliptical, had a delicious serving of oatmeal with peaches, cinnamon, and a little brown sugar (I was craving Peach Cobbler!), and now I’m posting on my blog. And my weight is back down again, so that’s exciting, too.
This entire process is a learning experience. I had a good conversation with Ben yesterday about my motivation, how easily I give up, and how I have trouble accepting positive criticism. It really put a light to everything. All my life I would quit things if they got too hard. No one ever really pushed me to do better (not that they should have), and I certainly never pushed myself to be better. I’ve always settled. OK is almost always good enough for me. And I do that with my health.
I really want that to change. The point is–yeah, maybe I’ve lost 85+ pounds in 4 years, which I know is an incredible loss so don’t misunderstand me here–I can do better.
I’m not trying to be perfect. I just want to do better than my personal best. That’s all I want. That’s why I was upset yesterday because I know I’m not doing my best. And I want to do better. I have to do better. I want to end the day knowing I did all I could do to make myself happy and healthy.
I’m sure I’ll have more days like yesterday, but I’m going on. I’m continuing on this lifelong journey. And pretty soon, it’s all going to be wonderful. Maybe it’s already a bit wonderful.